The Handsome, Insecure Man: Nature's Joke?
77Ladies, you all know the man I am talking about. He is tall, dark, handsome, seemingly cocky, and when he opens his mouth you know beyond a shadow of a doubt his self-assurance is really running on empty. He is nature's famous, but silent buzz killer, the handsome, insecure man.
This is truly the greatest tease on the face of the earth: the man who seems practically perfect in every way, then reveals himself as having no more confidence or sense of self than a bath towel. I had the privelage - or should I say the misfortune? - of meeting such a man recently.
He is tall, handsome, mysterious, and drop dead gorgeous. He came across as Mr. Cool - lighting up the room with his popular-frat-boy attitude and "I'm-way-out-of-your-league" vibes. I was in awe. I was stunned. I was speechless.
And then I heard him speak.
And bless his heart, he was not the James Bond that he projected but really a Woody Allen.
On the one hand I feel bad for men like this. Those who have the whole package but lack the confidence or sense of self to really use what their mama gave them. A part of me feels like maybe they just need a good woman to tell them that they are worth it and believe in them - then they will be OK.
But on the other hand, I am frustrated by men like this. They *do* have it all. All of their lives they have had women throwing themselves at them, willing to do whatever it take to be near them. This power has probably given them popularity and notarity among other boys, and they were probably the pitcher on the baseball team or the most popular boy in school all their lives. Why should I pity them?
Maybe what it really comes down to is the fact that when living Greek Gods like this talk to us mortal women, our first thought is that we have done something right, that we have reached a new level of achievement in our lives. Then when we get to know them we realize that they are usually more insecure and lost than we are, and that the way we fretted and oohed and ahhed was really unfounded. Joke's on us: we judged a book by it's cover, and in fact maybe were really judging ourselves.
Because when anyone feels out of their league in the presence of another person, it is really a feeling on insecurity and unworthyness. So from the start, women who get all gobble-mouthed over handsome men and are disappointed when they turn out to be insecure - isn't the joke really on us? We are insecure in ourselves to think that men of a certain look or caliber wouldn't want us - but we are turned off by their own insecurity.
So here we are, here I am, judging handsome, insecure men, for the fact that I am insecure to begin with about the fact they might be interested.
Is this the modern media that has put us in this position, or is it some greater, more painful human truth at work?
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Wonderful!
Wonderful!
"All of their lives they have had women throwing themselves at them, willing to do whatever it take to be near them".
Great!
oh my goodness...I MARRIED one of these men..yes we are divorced, I had to study Narcissism for a year after him and it fit the bill perfectly. He was gorgous..and so very destructive..I nearly lost my life trying to love and change him..the thing is we were so attracted to each other and he came off as this King like person..but his jealous controlling nature strangled all of the life out of me, outside he roared like a lion, but inside he was a teeny little mouse.
Nice story, sure hit home with me girl.
This was one of the best articles I have ever read. I was in love with a man just like this for two years. We worked together. At first he was interested in me, I was shocked. So, I flirted back, and then it scared him. I knew he was attracted to me, because he would blush when he saw me and get really nervous. Yes, he had that frat boy look and was always chasing a woman for acceptance. We never became a couple, but he acted totally weird around me for two years. He had those frat boy looks as you say, but he was as insecure and scared as a little kitten. Reminded me of "The Wizard of Oz".... when you find out the great and powerful wizard was a little old man behind a curtain. I loved this article!
Hilarious title and good hub! I like when the guy is so shy and self-conscious. I think it's kind of cute. Not like the other type of guy, who thinks he's God gift to creation!
I am late to this but I have somethin to confess...
I am a young guy(19) and back all the way till my sophmore year I was very confident and self assured but not in a cocky way.Ever since middle school girls(some) would take pictures of me and try to flirt with me up until this day.It wasnt until my sophmore year that I started getting breakouts(acne) on my face.I would get these big embarrasing pimples that sent my confidence down the drain.I felt ugly and felt like I shouldnt be alive.I tried acne products from stores and nada.Until my senior year I decided to go to my doc and he gave me some pills and a gel for my face.About 2 months of taking them I got rid of most of my acne and my face was clear again.I now have a clear face compared to back then but acne left me scarred mentally for life.It took a huge part of me.Not to be cocky but girls have called me cute/hot and they tend to blush/freeze when Im near them and they get insecure.Girls also try to flirt with me by making lots of eye contact and staring at me even when they are with their boyfriends, but deep inside I am insecure of my looks and what other people think about me.It might be mild social phobia that I now have due to acne a couple years back.Most guys that are insecure are insecure for a reason not because they want to be like that.This aritlce is partly true in a way..
Wow
whoar3you
I feel you. Exactly the same thing happened to me
I feel as though I wrote that comment
We are not insecure without reason.
lulu 3 years ago
You are absolutely right. I met this guy once and I thought he was the most handsome being i've ever encountered in my life. I believed any girl would fall into his arms. But as I started to know him better, he turned out to be, one -boring, tow - has lots of strange acts which I strongly believe are results of insecurities. Everything about him was hard to understand. Me said, gotta go baby, looks ain't everything afterall.